I have been holding on to some news because it just sucks. As most of you know, I wrote a book about my life with clubfeet called, "Loving Every Awkward Step" and it was published by the loving publishers at Bellastoria Press. Unfortunately, due to the death of their partner, my publishers decided to close shop and all their published books were pulled from online stores. Under the circumstances, I completely understand their decision. But, my book is now unavailable to sell under their publishing house and all my reviews have disappeared.

A little history about my publishing experience. It took 10 years to write my memoir and get picked up. It was published March 15, 2020 the week everyone locked down in a pandemic and I was never able to have any promotional kick off celebrations. I did my best to roll with whatever online and print opportunities came about and used this process as a way to close the foot chapter in my life. Now my memoir was pulled. Cool, cool cool.

But out of the ashes comes new opportunity. I have added self-publisher to my tiring list of things I'll try out. I am emotionally done with this memoir, so I have only published a paperback of the newly edited edition. Goodness knows what it will look like. If you have read this far, thank you. I appreciate all your support and encouragement. Thanks.

You know what I realized? I haven’t been blogging about my year in Covid quarantine! Me, the girl who wrote down each movie she watched while convalescing from a foot surgery (read my book), is not documenting the minutiae of each day.

You know why? Because nothing changes.

Oh, at first it’s all different with having to remember your mask and shopping at odd hours so there are less people and only buying items you couldn’t get cheaper online. There is social distance anxiety, hybrid school tantrums (mostly by adults), and vaccination appointments that are as rare as concert tickets when concerts still existed.

Turns out I really like being at home. I do miss the random party or run out for this event or that, but mostly I love being with my husband and son. We are a trifecta made of love and nonsense. We are a family who live independently of each other but know exactly what each other are doing.Work/Work/School. iPad/iPhone/Work. Minecraft/Video Game/TV. YouTube/Reading/Art. Family dinner is a time of games and catching up. We talk, share, laugh, and watch the 7 year old not eat his food. We spend the evenings with each other until bedtime. I am ok with all of this.

And repeat. What I said repeats. That is this pandemic. I am lucky enough to still have a job and can work from home. I am lucky enough to have not lost a loved one and I still have my health. I am lucky enough to be able to work and watch my kid at the same time. I have not been alone, unless I needed time alone. At its worst, this pandemic has been repetitive. However, add those unexpected life emergencies to the mix and now you have a party.

This was a long winter. We had several snowstorms, needed a new roof, repaired the office walls and ceiling from water damage, got a new sump pump when the old one died, school was in then out, no in, forget it out, back to in. So, not so repetitive at all.

Maybe that’s it. I want to get into the routine of this quarantine to get this timeline moving, but life keeps happening.

As the brisk Fall air starts to fill our homes, my mind thinks back to where I was when my ten year writing journey became public. March 15th, 2020, my book was released in print. March 10th, towns went into quarantine. Due to Covid-19 and social distancing, two separate book launch parties were rescheduled three times, one ultimately cancelled.

This is a time in history for taking hits and trying to bounce back. Life with my feet has prepared me to take new pains and find the best solution for my survival. Life in this pandemic has made us all shift how our normal, our everyday, plays out. Instead of a fancy book launch party, I’m excited to be having a shared book ZOOM reading with an author I grew up with in Massachusetts. Hosted by Storrs Library and coming up on October 14th at 6:30 pm, we will read from our books and talk about our process. We will laugh at life and answer questions from participants. We may not be in the same room physically, but please know that I will be wearing my fanciest sweatpants any virtual event has ever not seen.

Life is currently throwing boulder sized blocks in the road, but we can turn them into doorways by using our resilience as sledgehammers. Similar to the braces supporting my feet, when we get tired and pained by current events, we can move forward with the support of friends and family. I hope to see you on Zoom on October 14th. It will be a nice break from targeted Facebook ads. (Register for the ZOOM book reading)

To get my mind and body in motion during my Covid-19 quarantine, I participated it a project called ‘Write One Act One’. I would write a monologue which would be given to an actor to perform and vice versa. Below is my monologue. I’d post the video, but the url won’t embed. Go to YouTube and search ‘Protector Houston’

Title: Protector

by: Katharine Houston-Voss                   

04.23.2020

NOTES: This is spoken to a stuffed bear or stuffed animal.  If not a bear, the text can change to whatever animal/toy it is that you have to record with. You also don’t have to show the stuffed toy. 

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I pass the torch! Snuggie Bear you are now the protector of my son. You who have been by my side since I was four years old, will now make sure my son is not kidnapped by the bad guys in his mind. Snuggie Bear, you were always by my side when I woke up from a bad dream, a bad date, a bad year. Snuggie, whose body is triangle shaped due to my holding him in my armpit for 40 years, you are now going to protect my son from the true thing that scares him; the unknown, the virus, the reason he has school at home and hasn’t played with a friend or other children in 51 days.  Snuggie Bear, you are the protector.  My son will hug you with arms made of hope. 

Snuggie, I don’t get it.  We have been self isolating, distancing, staying 6ft. away from humanity for 51 days. People are still getting sick! I’m so glad I renewed my prescriptions. My husband feels that life is forever changed.  I imagine it bounces back to right where we were, flaws and all. But now with face masks. And I’m sure as hell not shaking anyone’s hand again!  

Is this really happening?  This hasn’t been one really long day? Quarantine. I thought there would be more space aliens.  

When my son asks me about this when he’s older… When he asks me, “Mom? What was the great Covid Quarantine like?”  Do I tell him about applauding the people in service at 7pm and how we were flattening the curve for all? Or is it ok if I tell him my truth?  

Monday through Friday, I dread the hours 5-7pm, because my full day of work is done. My multiple video meetings have ended.  I’m finished guiding your school lessons and making you read. Dinner is in a few hours and I am free to do whatever I want. But, I have no idea what to do with myself.  Your father is relaxing and you are either playing video games or watching YouTube.  Two hours. After work and before he goes to bed. I am terrified with a lack of anything. It is dead air time and I start thinking about why we are all stuck at home. All the people dying; people still not believing. 5-7pm, I have no idea what to do with myself, so I talk to this silly bear.   

Snuggie Bear, will you still protect me too? 

The Houston family moto is “In Tempus” or “In Time.”  Whereas I used to think this gave me permission to procrastinate, I now relate it to the adage, “this too shall pass.”  No matter how bad things seem, it will pass, in time. 

These Covid-19 days are anxiety inducing and downright scary. Along with worrying about family and friends, I’m having to work a full-time job at home while helping to co-teach my son, who is in the first grade. My husband and I have started a gin rummy card game where the winner is the first to 10,000 or whenever sheltering-in-place ends.  I’m losing by 850 points.

We will get through these days with patience and kindness, to yourself and others.  During my times of recovery after foot surgery, I would have boredom, fatigue, frustration and sadness.  I’d also find moments of peace; times of gratitude for being home, safe, in communication with my loved ones. This is what I’m drawing on during these Covid-19 days.  Like my surgeries, this too shall pass. We will recover and learn from our experiences. All in time.